That's me done

That’s me done. All four children through school.

Eldest daughter says “grandkids next dad”.  Arse. I thought I was clear.

Earlier this week, fourth in line for the family throne gave his yr 13 cohort a group cuddle, his favourite teachers a nod, and legged it with some stage booty.

Well done son, 13 yrs in school.

That morning they’d walked up the school driveway with balloons, cheered by the rest of the school. So cool.

Thank you to the amazing teachers that added value to him and to all my kids.

I’m hoping they returned the favours.

I slammed a few tequila’s before this prizegiving. Not my usual habit, but this one being the last … it lived up to expectations, a good old Waiheke ‘being sort of formal’ event.

Think Harry Potter meets the Adams Family doing ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’, all live from the prison lunchroom.

Funny costumes, obedient children. School stand school sit – no talking from the bleachers.

There’ll be a detention in the mail for sure.

I’ve often been one to think on the counter-currents in high school. The great stuff, and the equal and opposite forces of obedience and irrelevance.

I happily own some of my struggles with high schooling.
I have what I consider collateral damage from my time at the chalkface.  A bipolar type affliction with a side of category B tourettes.

Wife says I need to tone it down. Fat chance.

For three out of four of my kids, things went rather concrete pill when an old-schooler took the helm at our local high school, kicking to touch our playcentre parents progressive thoughts about learning. No … no no no no.

Went to anger management, helped a bit.

Since then slightly more whacky leadership has changed the game at our local lately, so I guess that’s a start.

But there’s still hundreds of children all wearing the same clothes.

They are popped in rooms, stratified by age and sometimes supposed smarts, often spend much time sitting at desks, and do this four to 5 times a day in unrelated modules, each time with mostly just one adult in the room. And there might be 30 of them at a time. I ask you.

Time Out, gotta change, here’s why -

As a species we are lining up for a good rogering and we need more than anything our young to break the mould we have lovingly made for them. Or we will assume the accepted position and take what’s coming.

That means setting them free to make their own choices early in the piece. With us alongside, they need real world stuff. Be excited and frightened, fall over, fuck up. Lets not leave it till they’re 18 – extended adolescence in unproductive yrs.

We grownups have shaped subservience for our kids, just as was administered us. Lets not anymore. 

They’re the ones navigating the human condition from here on, we don’t need them bridled, tethered, ordered or surveiled.

Same for teachers.

The best teachers are the free ones. It’s hard work getting free, you gotta fight some rearguard while still keeping your registration.

Here’s to the back end of national standards – whatever that doublespeak was supposed to have meant, and hopefully some space for teachers to fully engage, allow interactions to grow organically/creatively, not be pre-determined outcomes.  Set teachers free to do it their way, integrate community during school time. Been here b4 in a previous blog on schooling.

Auckland University of Technology professor Welby Ings has a lot to say about this in his recent book ‘Disobedient Teaching’, as does NZ’s Dr Robin Youngson in his book on changing the health system ‘Time to Care’.

Different sectors but same biz, Youngson suggesting that our health system is predicated on the british public school model, and until we actively deconstruct these top down factories, moving other sectors along in a dynamic world, will continue to be abrasive.

Maybe still a place for it in China for now, big on industrial and manufacturing.

I’m the boss, do what you’re told still rolls. It’ll pass.

But not NZ. We’re little.

We don’t have any choice but to be sideways innovators.

My older son’s prizegiving was a contrasting affair. Different school, bit more progressive.

The senior students ran the event, the stage was theirs not the teachers, and they invited various teachers, parents and guest speakers up to the stage to speak and present.

His parent/teacher evenings were similar. He would run the show preparing his own report, presenting to a small gathering of a few of his teachers and his parents, followed by a 3 way korero.

Impressive process, he had to study for these evenings, produce powerpoint/media/data, host the event, go through his subjects with contingencies for the stuff he’d missed.  Not easy for a teen, there’s nowhere to hide for students with process like this. More guide on the side than sage on the stage, teachers are mentoring all the way. We got contacted often as parents. Teachers, parents and students working together, my kind of co-teaching.

Years ago I was hired as a teacher in a small progressive Auckland high school.

The interview panel of 4 comprised the principal, a Board of Trustees member and two students. Each had a vote. A couple of clients on the interview panel, well who would’ve thought ?

We parents are every colour of the rainbow when it comes to what we want schools to be, and some love the old fashioned top-down stuff.  We all do what we feel is best.

Is obedience and consistency a 24hr essential ?

It was strictly so at a school I directed some promo videos for a while back.

On top of the hill by the motorway and taking no nonsense, one of Aucklands’ esteemed boys schools. It was like going behind enemy lines.

A couple of choices on the menu for the boys there.

Toe the line or don’t. Don’t and you’re gone. No correspondence, just winners and losers. Which you gonna choose? Do what you’re told, and a bunch more opportunities open up.

The video we made was a sales tool to recruit students from asia.

Many families like old school. They can be more interested in outcomes than process. And maybe process is important but you like the old school type.

Kids are graded like chickens, nice and tidy, you know where you stand.

I know parents who are happy with their children’s journey through this school. And I have friends in their 40’s still in counseling, each pointing a finger at same school.

Me I’m a turmeric tea lefty, into student agency and reversing the roles. For a lot of it, rip it up and start again. What is teaching, learning, education ?  What could it be ?

I’ve always been amazed at what teens are capable of when honoured, backed and trusted. Top down directive on our teens, making decisions for them, is to me the very picture of having low expectations of them. Interesting that old fashioned schools whose modus operandi can lean to the militant, will often spiel ‘high expectations’ in the prospectus etc. Oh the irony. 

My advice to my children has always gone something like this:

It’s not what we can’t do that scares us, it’s what we’re aware we can do.

So, park the scare.

Find something you’re good at and love doing, and be sure that it makes your soul feel good, ie it adds up to something bigger than you. 

Then spend however many years it takes working out how to provide food and shelter from it.  The roads that lead there are rarely evident, full of likely twists and turns.  And don’t neglect the ‘soul feelgood’ variable.

Don’t expect to be employed. With the concept of ‘being employed’ highly dynamic, there’s no guarantee having a job will be a keeper.

Technology is an exponential disruptor in every game.

Be scanning constantly for small opportunities to start your own business, maybe collaborate with others and realize it will need tweaking and reinventing constantly.

No one is a complete arsehole, so build your skill at working positively with difficult people.

So my son who’s just finishing now, what’s he going to do next year?

They call it a gap yr but really it’s a gap-it year, the one where you run from institutionalized education then look back from the city limits for some overview and context. 

He’s so excited. So am I, I think it’s marvelous.

His older brother did something similar, worked and travelled.

My two girls did the straight to Uni thing, works for them, but the boys just wanna rock out.

However our kids burn the toast, it’s weird for them to have to get a note from teacher one day, then take charge of making major calls the next.

Plenty of my chums continue to advocate decisions for their kids when they reach this stage … I get it, it seems safer, more focused. Maybe.

Back to the local prizegiving. They ran it over two nights and I missed the first one. Sounded like the best.

Jnr came home animated re what the guest speaker had to say. He was a local guy that took years to find where he fitted.  He now creates film scores as a sound designer for global clients. Unusual but well valid work.

My son was all ears - both our boys are passionate musicians … you mean you can make a decent bob out of this ?

What said speaker did suggest to the students, is that chaos and disruption are good and decisions that don’t work are essential – gotta have ‘em, and one here for the school’s deans - disobedience is an important component – a craft to develop in order to navigate successfully. 

I can hear the tinfoil trays pop as the schools law enforcers, DP’s deans and what have you, heave back the tramadol.

My wife and I are considering offering some form of scholarship for the local high school. It would be for the standout student who has challenged the school system. Not sure they’d want our award, might still make the suggestion.

For all the strutting and fretting I’ve done about my kids high schooling, they’ll prob be fine and I’m not far behind. They have a mum and a dad, a home, lots of good chums and aunties in the wings.

Their mum and I give them a bit of wiggle room re deciding their food/shelter paths, the door is always open, always space to doss down, lick their wounds, regroup and have another go.

Again thank you to their teachers, some of whom have been outstanding miracle workers despite the odds. I hope you make significant wins in the pay rounds.

I hope you embrace the changes coming in how you work, fearlessly and with open arms. You have communities of families/businesses and other resource at your physical and online door.

Use us, come on out, welcome modern learning and student agency.

Lead or be left behind.