Accidental Anthropologist

I was 8 yrs old when TV arrived in our house. It immediately became God, displacing the radiogram - the Archers, dads Tijuana Brass and Mantovani records. We gave the box in the corner our full attention. I fell for it, mesmerized. After a few years a colour one arrived, viewing intensified and it was dinner on a tray in the lounge. We talked less as a family. There were new more important spokespeople in the room and they sported british and american accents.  God and I were getting it on. At high school I taught teenagers how to make TV, all the clever ways to frame the story. Then one day I actually got to be with God, I got on telly. A bit of comic selfie-cam stuff led to a few slots in TV ads. In the money. I realized I’d made it when I was recognized in Lynmall. Then a bunch of us had a crack at playing God. Pre-internet and my chums and I spent our savings on a TV transmitter, broadcasting video clips from the hills over Auckland.   We w...

My wife the counselor. Bags not her job. I think if we split I’d be straight on Tinder with a no counselors need apply. No she does fantastic work, and it’s needed. She’s tending to that growing pack, The Unstuck. Families and individuals going through rough times. I’m not so Stuck myself, depending on the day. We grownups spinout, the kids soak it all up and she’s in there with first aid. A lot of the relationship wreckage she sees stems from people going under physically – food, shelter, employment. Lose the ability to provide for ourselves, our family, and the cortisol tears through the nervous system like a reverse enema. It attacks any certainty like a cancer, and it’s fallout is costly – for self, circle of affected’s, the taxpayer, society. It’s my ultimate close to home fear. And no matter where we sit in the wealth stakes, no one is exempt. All of us are just a ticket away from a derailing. We lose a family member, we go down with the big C. ...

I reckon I’ve got obedience tourettes - it started early and I blame Dr Seuss. The cat rides in on one wheel, says come on kids lets play up. Everything’s bent, no straight lines, and no sooner is he off - scott free it appears, than the Lorax steps out, taking on the man about his biggering. Then we get the aspirational Star Bellied Sneetches and power tripping Yertle the Turtle. That stuff gets in. Seuss got his sedition over the line with great verse and rhymes, fabulous cartoon pictures and the seuss suckerpunch - the story. The Dr is in. These days I run my own small business, I’m the boss it’s only me, and I often don’t do what the boss wants. This can present difficulties, and luckily I’ve a nice counsellor to have a cup of tea and a lie down with. Yep the seeds were sown early, and it’s been a game of two halves since. There’s me the pleaser, and then there’s me out riding the range, looking for opportunities to upturn the applecart, happy to take o...